The voices in my head keep me company.

I notice that I spend most of my time talking to myself...

Whenever I try to speak, I'm ignored and talked over. Maybe it's because I'm a horrible story teller. Maybe my voice is annoying. I just don't know...

And they think it's funny.

Nice.

Some game, huh? Yeah, well I hate it. It makes me want to cry and yell till everyone has to notice. Even at home, nobody listens. At home, they just yell at me to do stuff, or yell at me for not doing stuff, or just make fun of me. If I try to talk, nobody listens. They'll even ask me questions, and when I go to answer I'm just ignored.

I spent most of my time today having inside jokes with myself. How fun is that? I am a very funny person, you know.

I'm sure they'll think back on today and totally forget I was there. But, oh well. I had fun talking to myself.
And Jen.. and Bernise... and my skunks, willywallies, and waxywallies... <3

Yup.

I'm sure i'm just making a big deal out of this or something and I really shouldn't be. Oh well. I do that, I guess.

You and 27 cats would be a cute couple, hun.

There's this girl...
I'm not a huge fan of her...
SHE FLIRTS WITH THE PERSON THAT I LIKE. CONSTANTLY.
She takes him away from us, she makes him act different, and she's just so... ugh.
To make a long story short, I am NOT the biggest fan of her.

She recently just got a nose piercing and bigger gages. EWW!
I can't wait till her and her 27 cats are out and about, and the cats are embarrassed to be seen with her because of her giant, ugly earlobes. Yuck!

There's other people that would look good with 27 cats... mostly popular girls who are spoiled and mean. Like this one girl I know. She has been asked to the farewell dance by at least two, possibly three boys. All of which are very nice people. Well, she just keeps hurting them. She said yes to this one boy, but wants to tell him no and go with someone else. WHAT A JERK! And the worst thing is, she tries to make it so that she's a victim! Oh boo hoo! You have boys fighting over you and you're such a jerk you don't know what to do. Let's all pity you.

Mean while, I'm all alone in my pathetic corner... nobody wanting to go to the dance with me...

Maybe I'll go with 27 cats. Time to prepare for my future.

Whoop dee doo! I'm SO lucky. *sarcasm*

~ le unsexy dork who doesnt get asked to events. </3

Invisibility...

Today I must be invisible.
...or at least it seems that way to me.


It seems like nobody even notices my existence.


Maybe I am invisible. Yeah, that's it. I'm completely see-through.

That's for the good of the people, I guess. It's better than actually seeing my ugly face.

If you need me (which is doubtful), I'll be hiding from the human eye in that corner over there... reading the Hungergames... and snacking on something that will make me even more fat.

Aww... You want my arm. :3

HE WANTS MY ARM!

Lol... So, I made a list of people who I wouldn't mind going to our Farewell dance with.
One of the guys on that list (of three people), came up behind me and said," MY ARM!" Then we started talking and we were walking together till we had to split and go to different classes. It was sorta sweet... *happy sigh*

Him and I had I guess feelings for each other since about kindergarten,  but we haven't like "gone out" or anything like that. We almost did, I think in the summer... I don't know.

But, he has a "girlfriend"...
He never sees her, and they never talk. The only reason he's going out with her is because his cousin told him to.

Oh well. Maybe he'll ask me to Farewell. I hope. :P

<3

Blerg.

BLERG.

People are so annoying. I hate people. People ruin everything. EVERYTHING.

Stupid immature people who always touch me! People seriously have touching issues at my school. I can think of about, four people that I want to just punch in the face so hard that they cant get up again. SO HARD.


I'm stupid. I forgot my clarinet at school. My band audition is tomorrow and now, I'm not prepared.
I also didn't buy supplies of my science project that's due Friday. UGH.
I'm really mad at my science teacher. He procrastinated on giving us things to begin our science project, and now we all have to suffer. And if you don't get something in on time, he gives you an attitude about it.
I can just hear his arrogant voice now,"Frankly my dear, that is NOT my problem. Maybe you should have thought a head and gotten your supplies when needed."

MAYBE YOU NEED TO GIVE US THINGS ON TIME TOO, SIR! MAYBE THEN WE COULD ACTUALLY HAVE TIME TO GET EVERYTHING SORTED OUT!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY OFF THE REST OF MY BILLS SO THAT MY FAMILY COULD HAVE EXTRA MONEY TO BUY MY SUPPLIES!

Gosh. He's so annoying. He makes me mad. I'm going to go see my old science teacher after schoola nd see if he could help me...

And this girl... Lavender, we'll call her.
She needs to switch schools. PRONTO. I hate it when she flirts with the guy that I like... She hurt him so bad, then she just waltzes back to him... and the saddest part is, he welcomes it.  I think that hurts me more...
I don't want him liking her. I want him to like me, or one of my friends. Tis all. NOT HER. NOT AGAIN.

I get so mad when they take pictures together, or do things that I cant because my parents wont let me, or BUTT IN RIGHT NEXT TO ME WHILE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF TALKING TO HIM AND STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME. >.<

UGH.

I need to read... that'll make things better. ALL BETTER. <3 Forget everyone. People suck. Pigs are better.

Too attached...

I'm in love with the hunger games. I literally spent all last night and early morning, reading the first book in the series. I laughed and I cried. I was so attached that I was actually starting to think as if I were Katniss... then, as time passed by, I thought that I WAS Katniss... weird, right? This morning I woke up and was like,"WHO AM I??? WHERE AM I? WHERE'S PEETA? IS HE OKAY? GALE? PRIM?"
LOL... I have issues...

I eventually figured out that I was me and not actually Katniss. </3

My friend lent me the second book in the series... I get to be Katniss again. <3 YAY.

I like being Katniss. She's way better than who I am now.

I always get too attached to book characters. The Mysterious Benedict Socioty still makes me sad, because I don't have those friends anymore... AND HARRY POTTER. </3 I miss my friends. I'm so sad that I might be done with the Hunger games soon... *sigh* I'll make the time last with my best friends for now.

~Katniss... oh no, wait... who am I?

UGH... lalalalalalala.

Some people know how to ruin your day without even knowing it or even really doing anything wrong...

Well,  in my head it's wrong.

Most likely not in anyone else's.

... It should be against the law to make me feel jealous of people. That way she'd stop.

I hate feeling jealous. It just makes me mad at myself for being stupid.

I wish it was me. Tis' all. :(                                                                       *sigh*

Hollow Shell

I went through all of his pictures... ALL of them... (don't judge)

They're all so cute.
Even the dumb accidental ones.

He's so cute. Even when he looks weird in the photos.

His eyes... his smile... the way he walks and talks... His cologne <3... Every single thing he does, I'm in love with it.

I can't help it.

Now, you might be saying to yourself," You're thirteen. You don't know what love is."
Who's to say that age has anything to do with knowing love? Is there a certain age requirement when you know if it's real? No. there's not. How would you know if I'm too young to know how I feel? I am in the advanced classes at my school, so I'm pretty sure that I'm smart enough to know what love is.

I know that I've never liked anyone this much before in this way.

He makes me have the most stupidest smile on my face just by thinking about him. When I see him, I just want to hug him and never let go. When I hear his voice, I never want him to stop talking. When he sings... <3 words can't even describe how beautiful his voice is. When he listens to me, I feel loved. When he cares about me or asks me how I'm doing, I feel special.  When  he compliments me, I'm on cloud nine. When he teases me, I can't help but blush. When he walks by, I get a shiver down my spine.

But, when he doesn't feel the same way, I can't help but to feel upset and sad... So lonely and kind of empty inside. Being alone isn't fun. Especially when other's around you are not.

So, I'll keep looking at his pictures and texting him, even though he probably wont respond. I'll keep pretending that the emptiness inside doesn't exist and the my smile is real. Maybe things will work out for me. I sure hope so... *sigh*

<3 ~Le pathetic hollow shelled loser.

Love, love, love...

Things that I love:
CHERRY FREAKING BLOSSOMS. <3
Egypt.
My friends.
PIGGIES.
Baby polar bears.
Babies.
Snow flakes.
Mittens.
Kittens.
Cherries.
Cherry flavored stuff.
Converse.
Mustaches.
Giving gifts.
The Beatles.
Mumford & Sons.
HARRY POTTER. <3
Maroon 5.
Rocky Horror.
Stranger than Fiction.
Lifehouse.
The Killers.
The smell of rain.
Cute violin, clarinet, bassoon, and bagpipe players.
The cutest boy in the entire universe, with the sweetest eyes and the most wonderful smile <3 (in my opinion, of course)
Life.
Potatoes.
Icecream.
MUSIC! <3
Animal Crossing.
Potatoes.
Anyone reading this.
My family. (most of it...)
SAXOPHONES. <3 (I have a funny story about those. Lol. I'll tell y'all later)
My school. (le nerd)


Hmm... this is long enough. I'm just in a good mood and wanted to tell you all of the things that I love. <3 ta ta for now!

Confuzzelment: The world's greatest murderer of sanity.

Hi there... I'm confuzzled.
Decisions... decisions.
WHY  ME?
WHY YOU?
WHY THEM?
WHERE AM I?
WHY CAN'T I SEE?
WHY IS THE ROOM SPINNING?
WHAT DID I JUST DO FIVE SECONDS AGO?
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THAT?
WHY DID I DO THAT?
HOW'D THAT GET THERE?

That's some of the things that I had to ask myself... For some reason, I'll do something then five seconds later only slightly remember doing it to the point where I think that I only pictured myself doing it in my head. I've also have had little points where I've gone completely blind and the room is spinning. That's the scariest thing in the world. Falling, then not remembering how I fell is also troublesome. I had absolutely no clue how I got to school this morning. I just sorta was there. I don't remember walking or getting a ride. I remember getting my clarinet after school, but no reason why I did it. Why is this happening to me? Nobody seems to have the answers. Did I eat lunch today? No clue. I might have bought lunch. The weird girl might have given me lunch. How was my day? Well, I couldn't really tell you for certain. What happened in my head might not have been exactly what happened. I'm not really sure why I decided to write this blog. I checked a blog twice today to see if there were updates. TWICE. I didn't remember the first time till I finished reading it. Something is wrong with me... My dyslexia is getting worse, too. I almost cried doing my math because I couldn't read. My dad had to sit down next to me and read me the problems. How pathetic is that???  I'm glad that I don't have technology tomorrow. I might not be able to type.

I have to figure out how to do a project about a game... I cant remember which at the moment... I'll find out.

I need a hug and some chocolate. T_T

Just remembered that I was at play practice earlier today. Wow... :'( Ugh. Maybe I just need sleep.